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Learn · For partners and spouses

Someone trusted you with this

Being an accountability partner isn't monitoring, investigating or fixing. It's being told, and replying. Here's how to do it well, whether you use LeadMeNot or not.

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What the job is, what to say, and what to do when it's your own marriage.

For partners · 7 minHow to be a good accountability partnerSomeone trusted you with the hardest thing in their life. You don't need training. You need a few habits, and permission to be ordinary about it.For partners · 5 minWhat to say when you get an alertThe first message you send sets the tone for every one after it. Here are words that keep the door open, for the first alert, the fifth, and the one that confirms what you feared.For partners · 8 minWhen your spouse is struggling with pornYou found out, or they told you. You're hurt, and you also want to help, and those two things are pulling in different directions. This is for you, not for them.For partners · 4 minCheck-in questions that get an honest answer"How's it going?" gets "fine". These don't. For a weekly coffee, a Sunday text, or the evening reflection.For partners · 6 minHow to find an accountability partnerThe best partner isn't the most spiritual person you know or the strictest. It's the one who'll answer a text at midnight without making it worse.

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The mechanics: what you'll receive, reading an alert, approving a request, the optional app.

What being an accountability partner meansSet up the LMN Partner appWhat an alert means (and doesn't)How to respond to an alertApprove or decline a Safe Wall requestThey're locked out and you can't approveYou're not getting alertsStep down or change who the partner is

What a partner receives

An email when a rule they've chosen to monitor is broken, with the app or site and the words that matched. A request to approve when they try to loosen their protection, if they've set Safe Wall to need your OK. Their short evening reflection. Nothing else: no history, no screenshots, nothing to install.

What being a partner means

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Asked to be someone's partner?

You don't need to install anything. If they use LeadMeNot, their alerts and reflections come to your email. If they don't yet, the free trial is where to start, together.

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